Recently, while helping someone prepare for a big talk, they stopped mid-session and said, “I’m just not really having a good time.”
And honestly? Fair.
Speaking – especially when you’re not used to it – can feel a lot. Vulnerable. Exposing.
But what that comment opened up was a bigger, more interesting question:
Do we actually need to enjoy speaking?
Don’t get me wrong. My aim as a coach is always to help people speak, record, and present with more ease, confidence, and – yes – enjoyment. But we have to make space for the fact that not every stage, podcast booth, or panel is going to feel like a party.
And crucially: it’s not about you.
Your job isn’t to enjoy yourself – it’s to connect. To inspire. To guide, lead, provoke thought, change minds, move people to action.
That might involve a bit of personal discomfort.
But the more you rehearse, the more prepared you are, the less energy you’ll spend worrying about how you feel – and the more you can focus on how they feel.
Of course, if you’re having a great time, chances are the audience will too. But it’s not a guarantee. And the reverse is true as well – you can be nervous as hell and still make a big impact.
So next time you’re prepping a talk or stepping on stage, try asking yourself this:
Am I having a good time?
Great.
But are they?
That’s the question that matters more.
