Right. Rant incoming.
My name is Nic Redman. I’m a voice coach and a speaking director, and it’s my job to help people use
their voice as an instrument, with ease, expression and enjoyment, any time they open their gob – to
pitch, podcast, present, whatever.
And I am sick of this phrase:
“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”
Bullshit. Let me tell you why.
As a listener, I get it
We’ve all been taken in by a charismatic, word-salading eejit who can say whatever they like and
hold the entire room. We’ve all been there. We’ve probably all dated one, am I right?
So yes – delivery works. I’m not pretending it doesn’t.
But if you’re the speaker? Different story
If your approach to speaking is:
“It doesn’t matter what I say, as long as I say it well” – I don’t want to hear you speak.
That’s manipulative. And I think it’s disrespectful to the people in front of you.
I understand why the phrase exists
Because we’re human. We connect to tone. To the emotion behind the voice, not just the words being
said.
Tone is what makes us feel something. And that’s communication, isn’t it? Every time I speak, I want
the person on the other side to feel something -because that’s how we make connection.
So I get it. But here’s the bit the phrase misses.
The whole job is connecting your voice to your words
As a voice coach, my entire remit is helping you connect your beautiful, gorgeous, unique, curious
instrument to the words you’ve got to say.
And for you as a speaker, those words must mean something. Otherwise, there’s nothing to connect
to.
The authenticity problem
We’re living in an age where everybody has to be authentic. So why on earth are we still saying “it’s
how you say it”?
That’s the least authentic way to approach it.
If you don’t care about what you’re saying — or you haven’t really thought about the words — you
can’t connect to them in a real, truthful, honest way. And finding that truth is the whole thing I’m
always trying to help people do.
It relies on both halves of the equation: what you’ve got to say, and how you say it.
So let’s stop patronising our audiences
Let’s stop assuming we can charm people into coming with us regardless of the facts.
If you’re genuinely after authenticity — people believing in you, knowing, liking and trusting you —
then:
➡️ Choose the words you say carefully.
➡️ Connect your instrument to them in a way that really means something to you.
That’s it
I’m putting “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it” in the bin.
It’s what you say AND how you say it.
Rant over.
